I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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