I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
