I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
