What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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