theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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