Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
