This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
