ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
