I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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