I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
