Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Drake has all the answers
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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