How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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