I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How does it feel to date your dad?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
