It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
