TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
