Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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