im six kinds of drunk right now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
