are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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