I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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