So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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