you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
