I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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