Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
