Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
