I hope mine doesn't look like that
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
