Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
