I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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