so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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