First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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