Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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