I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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