Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
