I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
