return my video game
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
