I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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