I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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