Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
