I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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