3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
