very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
