you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
