matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
