I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
