I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
