Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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