u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
