This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
