Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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