I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
