I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
